Tugs of Hope Ebb to Twists of Fate
by Casunny123
Summary: Yullen Week 2011. No matter the time, place, universe, or lifetime- Kanda and Allen's paths always crossed and threads always tangled. Theme 1: Voiceless- It was the tragic Christmas miracle no one truly wanted.


**Welcome all~! To YULLEN WEEK 2011**

**Let's get the ball rolling and this show on the road!**

**Pairing: Yullen 3**

**Rating: K+**

**Theme: Silence/ Voiceless**

**Day: December 18****th**** – 19****th**

**Warning: ….None really needed. It's a bit sad and there is a morning after part, but relatively tame. **

**Disclaimer: Hoshino Katsura owns D. Gray Man and 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' is owned by…some artist or record company. (I based it in this story off Josh Groban's version.)**

**I'm sorry for the late post. I know this probably won't count but I was super excited to get in the 2-week Yullen mode. I **_**did**_** actually find out and start writing for Yullen week the night of the 18****th**** but I had a stomach bug the 19****th**** that forced me to stay by the toilet all day, half-passed out, and made me not able to finish this post on time. ): Oh well-at least from now on I'll be trying to crank out Yullen-shots to make up for it!**

**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~**

It had been years since Kanda had heard _his_ voice.

. . . . . .

At first, Komui had assured everyone it would only be temporary.

"_Ni-san! Ni-san! Allen….He-he…" __Lenalee sobbed distraughtly, bursting through the double doors of Komui's office with most of the science department on her heels trying to ward her off from disturbing her brother in the middle of his meeting. _

_Komui's head shot up, alarmed by the sudden intrusion, and rushed to his sister's side. "Lenalee! Calm down! What's the matter? What happened to Allen-kun?" _

"_He-he-he-h-h-h-" Lenalee broke off in a sob. Komui grabbed his sister by the shoulders and guided her over to the red leather couch with Johnny close of their heels. _

"_What happened to Allen?" Johnny pleaded with Lenalee, grabbing her hand as they both fell onto the sofa. _

"_He…H-h-h-" Lenalee sniffled and tried to voice her thoughts, however, her inability to speak properly only reminded her of Allen that much more. Reever laid a hand on Johnny's shoulder and shook his head, signaling for the younger boy to back off the obviously distraught Chinese girl._

"_KOMUI! KOMUI! QUICK-KOMUI!" A shout resounding throughout the science department grabbed the attention of the whole room as a red-headed blur blew into the room with a sense of intense urgency. _

"_Calm down everyone! QUIET!" Komui shouted above the crowd of worried, anxious workers. The room lulled into a hush as everyone turned to Komui. "Now Lavi, please tell us-exactly __**what**__ has happened to Allen?"_

_Taking a shaky breath, Lavi spit out, "During dinner, Allen suddenly stopped talking for a minute and then collapsed!"_

_The science department and few Finders that had found their way within hearing rage of Lavi broke out into frantic chatter. _

"_Has he finally been taken over?"_

"_Where is he? Is he gonna be restrained?"_

"_Can he be saved?"_

"_Is this it?"_

"_Well, it seems it may finally be time for Allen to come back with me." A deep voiced boomed from the corner as Lvellie suddenly walked about from behind a chair in the corner of Komui's office. _

_Komui's face was tight with worry, making the frown lines and bags under his eyes more prominent. "Where is Allen?" Komui demanded. _

"_Here." The heavily accented voice of Arystar Krory III rang out over the crowd. Scientists and Finders alike parted to allow the group of Exorcists through. Krory, with innocence activated, carrying Allen in his arms was followed by Kanda and Marie flanking his sides. _

"_Everyone, leave my office now. Reever, Johnny, Russell-go get me a table and my bag. Someone send word for the Head Nurse and Bookman! Lvellie-please go wait with the rest of the science department or go back to your room. You'll be the first to know if Allen...is going back with you. Krory, Marie-get these people out of the department. Kanda-take my sister and Lavi and go wait outside." _

_The navy haired Exorcist Che-ed, but helped Lenalee up by her shoulder and out of the room with the younger bookman right on their tail. _

_After almost three hours of people running in and out of the room, Komui exited, exhaling a gust of wind and sinking down on the bench where Lenalee had fallen asleep on Lavi's shoulder. The now almost vacant department's silence seemed suffocating._

_After what seemed like hours, but couldn't have been more than a few minuetes, Komui spoke up. "You can go in." _

_Kanda stared patiently at the normally goofy supervisor, seeing all the signs of exhaustion and hours of unrest plaguing his face. _

"_He can't speak." Komui continued after a long pause, apparently realizing Kanda wouldn't be rushing in without knowing exactly what was wrong. "He's still him. The fourteenth hasn't got hold of him yet."_

_Kanda finally spoke up for the first time since seeing Allen's face during dinner. "He's never going to speak again."_

_He remembered Moyashi's face suddenly screwing up in concentration before closing his eyes in pain. He opened his mouth, gaping for a minute, like he was desperately trying to say something. Kanda remembered Allen's gray eyes as they shot open and stared right at him before the gray orbs rolled back and Allen collapsed. _

_Komui shook his head in agreement but said, "Who knows?"_

_Kanda frowned at his supervisor. "You don't want him to."_

_Komui glanced up, knowing Kanda could see right through him. The scientist's eyes flickered to the side, checking that his sister and her supposedly secret boyfriend were both sound asleep before answering. "Allen lost his voice because the fourteenth had started taking over. He attacked Allen's vocal chords and, in response, Allen's innocence attacked the Noah in him. Allen's can't speak...because there is essentially a war tearing apart his body. He's lucky his vocal chords are just the first to have shut down."_

_Kanda Che-ed and responded, "I doubt that."_

_Komui's eyes shot up and stared hard into Kanda's dark blue ones. Raising an eyebrow, the supervisor muttered, "How would you…?"_

_Kanda scoffed. "Please, with Moyashi's self-sacrificing ways and how he's always trying not to worry people, I don't doubt for moment that he's hiding a lot of his symptoms."_

_Komui stared at Kanda hard, as if knowing that the Japanese Exorcist knew lot more than he let on, which was true. Giving up on trying to get Kanda to spill, Komui waved his arm helplessly at the door, signaling Kanda to just go in already._

_Shoving off from the pillar he had been leaning on, Kanda slipped through the doors silently, into the empty room where Allen lay inside._

"_Chief! I have those samples you wanted and the pills for Allen." Komui nodded tiredly as he fingered the anklets permanently attached to his sister's feet. "I can just bring them in, if you wan-"_

"_Leave them be, Reever. We can give it to him in the morning." Reever's eyes flickered to the now vacant space in front of the pillar before shifting to the door. Smiling sadly, Reever nodded in agreement. "What should I tell everyone then?"_

"_Tell them to get some sleep. Tell them Allen's alright and he wants them to get some rest." Komui yawned as he shuffled up from the bench._

_Chuckling, Reever grabbed his swaying supervisor by the shoulders "Why don't we to tell them together? Then __**you**__ need some rest. I'll watch those four tonight." The two friends stumbled off through the department towards the cafeteria, leaving two exhausted couples to a well-needed night to themselves._

. . . . . .

While it had been years since Kanda had heard Allen's musical, light-hearted laugh or his scolding "BaKanda"….Kanda was glad. He still had Allen- Not the fourteenth. Not cloud clown. Not the Destroyer of Time. Kanda still had his Moyashi.

_Kanda slowly slide his eyes open as the bed next to him moved. With a quick twist, the Japanese teen grabbed the waist of the body next to him and pulled them back down onto the mattress. _

_Kanda felt the huff and then smack of a hand on his head as he chuckled. "Where did you think you were going?" Kanda grumbled sleepily, glancing up at the gray orbs hovering next to his own. _

_With a quickly flick of his wrist, Allen untangled his arms from Kanda's grasp and started rapidly signing at the Japanese man. _

_**I'm hungry! Unless you want me to eat you, I suggest you get your arm off of me. **_

_Kanda scoffed. "There are plenty of things to eat here."_

_Allen rolled his eyes before slipping out from under his partner's grasp and stumbling around for a pair of pants. Turning around, Allen signed. _

_**Where the hell did you put my pants last night?**_

_Kanda smirked. "I'm not sure you still want to wear them…"_

_Allen threw his hands up in a huff and scurried off to Kanda's closet to get a pair of new pants. Allen had learned enough to split his and Kanda's wardrobes- ½ and ½ in each of their rooms. _

_Kanda closed his eyes contently, set on sleeping in another 15 minutes and following Moyashi later on so as not to arouse suspicious. A crash from the bathroom, however, had the Japanese Exorcist up and out of bed in less than 5 seconds._

_Kanda burst into through the bathroom door to see Allen hunched over the toilet, dry heaving and choking out blood. Swiftly kneeling and holding Allen up by his shoulders, Kanda waiting out the 15 minutes of muscles spasms and stomach convulsions it took before Allen was able to tiredly lay back against the wall._

_Kanda no longer bothered fighting Allen to get him to tell Komui what happened in hope that their supervisor could help somehow. All three of them knew there was nothing more that could be done._

_Weakly, Allen signed, __**Can we just stay in bed today?**_

_Kanda gathered Allen in his arms and laid him back in bed. The two spent the rest of the day in bed- sometimes talking, sometimes sleeping, and sometimes just laying still staring at the ceiling lost in their thoughts or thinking nothing at all. _

. . . . . .

While others prodded Allen to not give up hope, encouraging that he would talk again someday, Kanda never made any comments. Allen would weakly nod, sign, or write out his agreement but Kanda knew otherwise. Because Lenalee, Johnny, Bookman, Krory, Tiedoll, Timothy, and everyone else at the Order didn't know the truth.

For Allen to talk again, he would need to lose the battle first.

The next time Allen spoke, it was likely to be the final words of the battle he lost.

. . . . . .

"It's a Christmas miracle!" Lenalee squealed in delight as she flew throughout the Order, cheering her announcement for everyone to hear. "Allen can speak again! It's a true Christmas miracle!"

Cheers rang out throughout the Order as Finder, scientists, and Exorcists alike flocked to the cafeteria to see the miracle the gleeful Chinese girl sang out.

Kanda met Komui halfway to the cafeteria, greeting each other with grim nods. Lavi and Marie dragged Kanda through the crowd to the table where Kanda heard the saddest and most beautiful sound in all his lifetime.

"BaKanda." Allen greeted sadly. Cheers and calls for celebratory dinner echoed in the dining hall. Jerry joyfully brought Allen all his favorite dishes as Lenalee, Lavi, Timothy, and Johnny kept Allen talking throughout dinner.

After almost two hours, during which most of the science department became a bit tipsy, Lenalee prodded Allen into playing a Christmas song for everyone. Allen, smiling dejectedly, shuffled over to the piano in the corner next to their hulking emerald Christmas tree and flexed his fingers before beginning to sing along to the melody he plucked away.

_I am dreaming tonight of a place I love_

_Even more than I usually do_

_And although I know it's a long road back_

_I promise you_

Lavi goofily extended his arm to a giggling Lenalee, sweeping her into his grasp and pulling her into the open space next to the tree. Marie and Miranda followed, slowly twirling in their own world miles away from their worn out days as Exorcists.

_I'll be home for Christmas _

_You can count on me_

_Please have snow and mistletoe_

_And presents on the tree_

Emilia snuck up and grabbed Timothy, dragging him onto the dance space with Timcampy balancing on his head. Frior bowed politely to Klaud, who smiled and rolled her eyes but nodded in agreement as the two expertly waltzed in giant circles. Scientist and Finder pairs slowly made their way onto the floor, dancing under the glow of the tree.

_Christmas Eve will find you_

_Where the love light gleams_

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_If only in my dreams_

Komui slowly walked up and sat on the bench next to Allen. Looking up, Allen smiled at his supervisor, who shooed him off and took over the piano. Reever, sneaking up behind Kanda, pushed him at Allen with a worn-out chuckle. Allen signed at Kanda as he sang. **I'd rather enjoy my last Christmas here.**

Kanda suddenly drew Allen in his arms and dragged him out to the edge of the dancing floor, gliding along the end tips of the tree.

_Christmas Eve will find me_

_Where the love light gleams_

_I'll be home for Christmas_

_If only in my dreams_

Allen trailed off, his voice giving out. Kanda smiled down at the man in his arms, knowing that this is exactly what he wanted as his last beautiful memory at the Order. Kanda kissed Allen as the white haired teen closed his eyes contently.

_If only in my dreams_

Whether his body woke up as the fourteenth or cloud clown or never woke up at all, Allen no longer cared. His last moments as Allen Walker were exactly as he wanted them to be, not voiceless or in pain or on a battlefield. Allen Walker's last moment, before his body gave out, was dancing in the arms of the man he love, surrounded by his family and friends in his home, under the twinkling lights of a Christmas tree on his birthday night.


End file.
